Any dream will do

I think it was the 8th of August, 1994 that it all started. It could have been the 4th for all you know. I'd lost Ma a couple of months before and was still trying to cope with the newly bestowed Lady-of-the-manor title her absence brought with it. I remember it was in early August. How my memory falters! Old age, you see. It is just not what it used to be. I may not remember the date, but I do remember the day. It's crystal clear, forever etched in my memory. (Cheesy lines galore!) 

 

The auditions had begun a couple of weeks before. It was the first year of college. Post college student union elections, this was what we had all been looking forward to. College auditions for various extra curricular and cultural teams to represent the college at  intercollegiate competitions were in full swing. Of course, nepotism and favouritism were rampant even then, I'm sure, but I wasn't this jaded then, so cynicism crept by me.  I was this starry eyed 18-year-old and some of the senior guys were heartthrob material, I'll give you that. Out of hundreds of tryouts, I was in the final 20 and the day dawned bright and clear. We were to sing on stage in front of the whole college and it was my first time. I'm sure all of you know the jitters of first time experiences :o). 

 

The previous day's final selections had given me some sort of courage. There was this girl who was auditioning. I distinctly remember her face.  A round, Bengali girl who sang Kabhi Door Jab Din Dhal Jaaye pronouncing the "a" syllable only as a Bengali can. She sang:

Kobhi door job din dhol joye...

 

She didn't make the cut, but the last girl to audition was this very pretty girl with long hair, in an orange and yellow dress, fair, but with braces. When she announced she would be singing the same song, chaos ensued. The boys had had enough and wanted to leave. But the girl would have none of it. She dashed to the door and bolted it. Leaning against it, she said and I quote: "No one leaves till I finish." That kind of bravado was what I lacked. I still do. But that had given me that little push to at least go and give it a try before I chickened out.

 

Not only did I feel I could do it, I had also made a new friend. V, who sang Jhuki Jhuki Si Nazar so beautifully, that I think it's second only to the original. It became our song. He introduced me to Jagjit Singh, by the way. He of course made it to the finals and as luck would have it, he was sitting right behind me, he was in my English class and when he came back, I introduced myself and we proceeded to the college canteen for coffee post tryouts.

 

So as I was saying, the day dawned, (I think it was a Saturday) and the judges were lining up. There were six of them, I think. One of them was a family friend, S, my sister's Veena master's son, so I felt I stood a fair chance. So, one by one, the twenty sacrificial goats made their way to centre stage and gave it their all. Yes, I was the last to sing. The song that I'd chosen? Tere Mere Milan Ki Yeh Raina from Abhimaan. My family and I were Hrishida's loyalists even then. (I'd sung Teri Bindiya Re for the tryouts. Guess I forgot to mention that.) So long, Hrishida. You've given us much to remember you by.

 

I remember what I was wearing. It was a white salwar with pink and green dots and a pink dupatta. I closed my eyes, mustered up whatever courage I could find and sang with the slightest of tremors in my voice. Inside, I was shaking like a leaf, but outside, I wanted to make it so bad, that I left most of my stage fear backstage. V was silently encouraging me from the sidelines, God bless him.

I finished with: "Thanks for listening. And not booing."

 

A minute of the most deafening silence and then applause. I don't think it was thunderous, but I could see V clapping real hard with a big smile on his face. And S gave me a thumbs up sign. I walked off the stage in a daze and bumped into S who said the booing comment was not at all necessary, for I'd sung really well. He said if it were up to only him, I would make it to the college team, but he felt that I did stand a good chance of making it anyway.

 

And make it I did. I was now in the college music team. We represented our college at many cultural festivals and won many prizes, but my favourite reward was V. He and I remained steadfast friends for 10 years, even though I lost touch with almost every other college friend of mine. The next two years, we were the judges for all college music team auditions. He balded, I ballooned, but we remained close. Two years ago, I lost him to life. He's somewhere out there now, I don't know where, but he remains one of the nicest people I've ever known.

 

Miss you, V. I was listening to our song today. Thank you for the music.

Tujhe bhi apne pe yeh aitbaar hain ke nahin... 

 

End note: Next up on College Chronicles, My First Proposal...